How to Know If You Are a Bully

Older kids bullying the younger kid
Did you know that you might be a bully and don’t even realize it? Or perhaps you already know that you are a bully but don’t know to stop being one. To know if you’ve ever bullied anyone or if you’re presently a bully, answer the following questions truthfully:

  • Do you feel better when you hurt other people’s feelings or when you do something bad to them?
  • Do you oftentimes use your strength and size to intimidate other people into doing what you say?
  • Do you not think about how others might feel when you do or say something hurtful to them?
  • Have you ever been bullied and feel that you have to regain your power by bullying others?

If you’ve answered yes to these questions, the bad news is that yes, you’re a bully. However, the good news is that now that you’ve accepted you’re one, it isn’t too late to change your ways. How do you stop yourself from being a bully?

  • Make amends with everyone that you’ve ever bullied. You don’t have to be best friends with them, but you have to make it crystal clear that you’re sorry for what you did and how you acted towards them, and more importantly, that you wouldn’t bully them ever again. They might not believe you but they would eventually see that you’re really set on changing your ways if you continue being friendly toward them.
  • If you are feeling especially down and have the urge to bully someone to make yourself feel better, look for ways to feel good about yourself. Take up a new sport or hobby or do some volunteer work.
  • Think about why you bullied other people in the past. What were you feeling when you were bullying them and how did you feel after?
  • If you feel that you are having a difficult time controlling your emotions, speak to your parents (if possible), a loved one, a trusted teacher, or your school’s guidance counselor, suggests a renowned counselor from a top residential treatment center for adolescents.

Lastly, be patient. Learning how to be kind, respectful, and compassion would come easily to you the more you do it. And once you have mastered the art of being a kind and compassionate human being, you would see how changing your ways is the best thing that you did for yourself. Bullying is an extremely serious problem and many people have taken their lives because of it. Rather than being a part of the bullying problem, choose to be a part of the solution.